by Jacob

Steal This Holiday: A Very Poopy Day

Full Disclosure

I’m going to be honest; this is a holiday about poop. This is serious. It’s also seriously funny, and it would be great to throw at your players. Read on if you dare.

Why Poop?

Because it’s very useful. There are two big uses for poop: fertilizer and fuel. To make a holiday that celebrates poop, you need a society that depends on it. You can do so by making an area that must survive on agriculture, but the land isn’t very fertile, so the people rely on the poop as a fertilizer to keep their crops growing.

Or, if you’re going the fuel route, you’ll likely want to make the area have limited access to wood or other commonly-used fuels, such as coal. The people might use the poops as fuel just for warming their homes, or, if your world is a bit further in the future than the medieval period, it can be used to power factories.

Where Does All This Poop Come From?

Obviously, you’ll be getting all this poop from animals, most likely some sort of herd animal that the people take care of. There are other, less generally acceptable sources too, but we’ll avoid those. To make this more fun, you should use a fantasy herd creature instead of ones that actually exist. Come up with a creature that’s really strange and see how your players react. Most likely, though, they won’t react to that nearly as much as my next suggestion:

Celebrating Poop

While it’s technically a waste of a precious resource, my favorite idea for how to celebrate this holiday is to throw cow pies at each other and push each other into the collection piles. This will be ENTIRELY unexpected by your players, who are hit with poop as soon as they enter town.

If the resource is more limited, then you could go with a day of refraining from using poop, a poop sabbath, if you will. But that’s not as fun as having your PCs decked in the face with a steamy turd.


I realize that this is a really weird idea, but I think it’d be fun. If your group can roll with the punches, I’d highly suggest throwing something like this at them to keep them on their toes.

New to Steal This…?

If you’re new to the Steal This… series, go to the Steal This… manifesto and archives to find out what it’s about or to see the other Steal This… articles.

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